definisjoner innenfor musikken

string quartet: a good violinist, a bad violinist, an ex-violinist, and someone who hates violinists, all getting together to complain about composers.
glissando: a technique adopted by string players for difficult runs.
subito piano: indicates an opportunity for some obscure orchestra player to become a soloist.
risoluto: indicates to orchestras that they are to stubbornly maintain the correct tempo no matter what the conductor tries to do.
vibrato: used by singers to hide the fact that they are on the wrong pitch.
cadence: when everybody hopes you're going to stop, but you don't.
music: a complex organizations of sounds that is set down by the composer, incorrectly interpreted by the conductor, who is ignored by the musicians, the result of which is ignored by the audience.
oboe: an ill wind that nobody blows good.
bassoon:

1. typical response when asked what you hope to catch, and when.
2. a bedpost with a bad case of gas.

french horn: your wife says you smell like a cheap one when you come in at 4 a.m.

så vet dere det!

fra http://www.mit.edu/~jcb/jokes/#definitions