Monty Python

Når det skjer fint lite i livet mitt, liker jeg å sette meg ned med en god monty python film eller sketsj. Og for å få ett lite innblikk i mine favoritter, skal jeg legge ut mine favorittsitater fra den britiske, geniale gjengen:

først noen slegers fra the holy grail:

ARTHUR:  O Knights of Ni, we have brought you your shrubbery.  May we go now?
HEAD KNIGHT:  It is a good shrubbery.  I like the laurels particularly.  But
  there is one small problem.
ARTHUR:  What is that?
HEAD KNIGHT:  We are now... no longer the Knights Who Say 'Ni'.
KNIGHTS OF NI:  Ni!  Shh!
HEAD KNIGHT:  Shh!  We are now the Knights Who Say 'Ecky-ecky-ecky-ecky-pikang-
  zoop-boing-goodem-zoo-owli-zhiv'.
RANDOM:  Ni!
HEAD KNIGHT:  Therefore, we must give you a test.
ARTHUR:  What is this test, O Knights of-- Knights Who 'Til Recently Said 'Ni'?
HEAD KNIGHT:  Firstly, you must find... another shrubbery!
  [dramatic chord]
ARTHUR:  Not another shrubbery!
RANDOM:  Ni!
HEAD KNIGHT:  Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must place it here
  beside this shrubbery, only slightly higher so you get the two-level effect
  with a little path running down the middle.
KNIGHTS OF NI:  A path!  A path!  A path!  Ni!  Shh!  Ni!  Ni!  Ni!  Shh!
  Shh!...
HEAD KNIGHT:  Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must cut down the
  mightiest tree in the forest... with... a herring!

LAUNCELOT:  Have we got bows?
ARTHUR:  No.
LAUNCELOT:  We have the Holy Hand Grenade.

NARRATOR:  As the horrendous Black Beast lunged forward, escape for Arthur and
  his knights seemed hopeless, when suddenly, the animator suffered a fatal
  heart attack.
ANIMATOR:  Ulk!
  [thump]
NARRATOR:  The cartoon peril was no more.

BRIDGEKEEPER:  Stop!  Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these
  questions three, ere the other side he see.
LAUNCELOT:  Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper.  I am not afraid.
BRIDGEKEEPER:  What is your name?
LAUNCELOT:  My name is Sir Launcelot of Camelot.
BRIDGEKEEPER:  What is your quest?
LAUNCELOT:  To seek the Holy Grail.
BRIDGEKEEPER:  What is your favorite color?
LAUNCELOT:  Blue.
BRIDGEKEEPER:  Right.  Off you go.
LAUNCELOT:  Oh, thank you.  Thank you very much.
ROBIN:  That's easy!
BRIDGEKEEPER:  Stop!  Who approacheth the Bridge of Death must answer me these
  questions three, ere the other side he see.
ROBIN:  Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper.  I'm not afraid.
BRIDGEKEEPER:  What is your name?
ROBIN:  Sir Robin of Camelot.
BRIDGEKEEPER:  What is your quest?
ROBIN:  To seek the Holy Grail.
BRIDGEKEEPER:  What is the capital of Assyria?
ROBIN:  I don't know that!  Auuuuuuuugh!
(explodes and dies)

så en fin en fra Life of Brian:

fficial:  Stop that.  Stop it, will you stop that.  Now look, no one is to
   stone anyone until I blow this whistle.  *Even*...and I want to
   make this absolutely clear...*even* if they *do* say "Jehovah."

(There is a pause.  Then all the women throw stones at the Official and he
goes down in a heap.  Five women carry a huge rock, run up and drop it on the
Official.  Everyone claps.)

og til slutt den udødelige papegøyesketsjen:
'E's not pinin'!  'E's passed on!  This parrot is no more!  He has ceased
 to be!  'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker!  'E's a stiff!  Bereft
 of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be
 pushing up the daisies!  'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory!  'E's off
 the twig!  'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run
 down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!!
 THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

(pause)

O: Well, I'd better replace it, then.

Og da vet dere hva jeg bruker dagene på (i alle fall innimellom...)